redefine

It's Official - RN, BSN

2008-06-15T11:26:00.001-07:00

Graduated. and OFFICIALLY Licensed - Boards Passed! It feels as though I can breathe again after four years! Amen. I am currently working my last shift as a Patient Care Assistant. Praise. i am leaving to go home for 9 days! celebrating the union of my dear friend, ellie. Twins Game = Girls night. I am preparing to speak for a Ladies event next week - please pray for me. Fishing, working out, and spending time with the family. It going to be a great vacation. Start my dream job on June 25th. NICU - Life will be crazy again all summer.

Pictures to come soon of the latest happenings - including some crazy Tribal Warfare - Feel the Fire?

CHECK OUT THIS LINK

2008-06-04T15:22:00.001-07:00

http://tribalwarfare2008.blogspot.com/

Mi Hermana Jesse

2008-05-26T12:39:00.000-07:00

Can hardly believe that today is one of the last days that we will spend together! I look back upon the moments that brought us together and the fear of the unknown.... Would we be able to make this work.... I am so blessed to be able to say that I have come out of this situation with one of the best friends I can have ever prayed for. Jesse, you have sown seeds of truth and joy in my life, you have been there through brokeness and tears and prayed relentlessly for my heart. I am encouraged by your faith and blessed to share in your struggles and triumphs. God has such an amazing future that will unfold all in His timing, and as we move from this place and go forth as God calls... Let us look back on these days as one small step into the glorious future as we conquer the earth in His Name. I am so excited to continue to do life with you, may you always seek and never conform to the patterns of this America.... (my spanish heart). You will perservere in your education ... Praise the Lord! Love you more than words will say... Keep your heart open! My sister, best friend and almost x-roomie... You are always welcome in my home!

Moments with the Family

2008-05-25T22:22:00.002-07:00

these are the moments that make life worth enduring. God has blessed me with such amazing siblings... Always there to give support and love. Henry gave me a poster ... New Job Congrats. Cole and Auntie Ranna. All four siblings. Kyle and I. and then sisters with Kyle. love.

Blooming Change

2008-05-25T22:22:00.001-07:00

Tis the season to feel the motivation to move: grow and change. The oppurtunities begin to bloom with the spring leaves and the tulips. Many of us feel the refreshing of the Spring Rain as it begins to wash away the ugliness of the winter... Beginning to feel the Voice of God speak and the obdience to follow in the new directions He leads us....

In my life many things are taking place, and many people are beginning to move out into the direction that they feel they need to go. Meeting with friends, catching up, and remembering all of our memories : preparing for our seperation ... It is very solem moments as we realize our fate, many times knowing that our paths may not cross for many years... I just wanted to take the time to thank the Lord for giving me these very inspirational people in my life. They have been blessings and each person has placed a hand print on my heart.

A Whole New World

2008-05-07T10:14:00.000-07:00

Blessed to have them as my parents - Proud Day!
One of the true loves of my life - Henry - You Rock!
Who's the graduate now? Oh G- Ma!
BUDDY! - Onto the Curious You ----- Inside Joke

AMAZING SISTER.... THE ONE AND ONLY!!! SHE IS MY BESTEST FRIEND!
TALLY - MY LONG LOST LITTLE SISTER... I love your heart - Keep seeking the Lord, Beautiful!
Jessica Susan McNally - The love of my Life - Roomie I will forever treasure you.
Mar - (No Words) - Thanks for coming!
The Tres Amigas - What a Beginning to the End - You are my support. Love me.

MY SURPRISE - My friend and forever cousin - You are a true joy in my life.

It's official! I am a Winona State University Graduate - that means: Brianna Marie Kalinowski, BSN can be added to my John Hancock! (Lol, not serious). What an amzing celebration last week with my incredible family, friends, and classmates. (I will put photos in the bottom of this blog)

First I want to give undivided praise to my Lord and Saviour - Its so amazing to have gone through all that the past four years has given me - In which the Hand of God never left my side and His protection and Guidance has lead me to this very moment. I am so thankful and blessed.... it takes me aback knowing that HE LOVES ME! I am so excited to move into this next couple years of change and choices as God leads and guides me.

My Family came to visit (MOM, DAD, GMA - SISTER - HENRY) Super Exciting! I was able to host and show them the area which I have spent the last four years. It was so special to have them here. They have blessed me, and I wouldnt have been able to do this without their encouragement and support (Prayers especially).

FRIENDS! I am so grateful to all of you have been able to share in the past moments of my life, the struggles, pain, joy, laughter, tears. I love you all, and I only hope to make an impact on you like you all have on me. Please know that you are all dear to me.

I interviewed for my dream position - Neonatal ICU! I am patiently waiting to hear from them sometime in the next few days. I am resting in the peace that God knows what is coming next. I had an amazing convo with friends last night about the Moving of God. God is paving the way for change. I am preparing my heart to be used and opening myself for that new step. Reading the Word, and Praying.

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR EVERYTHING!

TWEAKING.

2008-04-02T17:49:00.000-07:00

cant believe that it is April. which means one thing. i am only 30 days away from the grand finale. and thus i am tweaking. cant believe that i am at this point and its time to make the big decisions. job - no conclusion. should i relocate. should i stay. is Rochester the place God wants me to be. could this be my place of ministry for the next year. fear is an issue. unable to sleep. listing all the to dos. unable to find that solitude. ready for change. need the answers. sounds rather demanding? what i know i need most is taking the moment to really seek the Lord? getting back to the basics. i know i can trust. but its taking the time. wrestling with it all.

so in conclusion. i am here. running. stressing. praying. (need more time on my knees) so for all. please pray for me. i need to start making decisions.

Snow Shots

2008-02-20T13:55:00.000-08:00

A few glimpses of the snow day with my brother. not very good shots. but it was a great day!

photos of the event.

2008-02-20T13:49:00.000-08:00

wedding creativity.

2008-02-19T11:12:00.000-08:00

this past weekend i drove home to becker. a chance to get back to my family and spend time with friends. i had a great homemade meal with my grandma and parents - time to enjoy and relax. (good meat) i cozied up on the couch with my rents and gma to watch 'the wheel'. (Wheel of Fortune) laughs. I continued my venture to Clear Lake to visit my nephew cole and kyle and kayla. I waxed my board for the first time. enjoyed visiting and catching. Cole is getting so tall and growing up. He sits up on his own!!!!
Next Morning, UP EARLY! Met Kyle out on the hill to snowboard for a couple of hours. and learned to ride my first rail as well as tried jumping. its just a blast for us to chill. miss him so much. he is such an amazing patient instructor.

At 12:00 I traveled to the Bride to be - Ellie - to have a bridesmaid extravaganza making the centerpieces. mailboxes covered in paper and decorated accordingly. :) Lots of work. many hours. coughing and wiping runny noses. all sick with a cold. it was fun and i had my creative juices flowing.

next morning, amazing fellowship at church. felt the presence of the Lord and his calling on my life. renewing and refreshing.

bridesmaids and bride dress fitting.. and then back home to finish assignments for school.

very refreshing and fun.

Answered Prayers

2008-01-31T20:48:00.000-08:00

today has been an amazing day of blessings and God's faithfulness shown. my heart rejoices, over joyed with so many thoughts and feelings. i am blessed to know i serve a faithful God that hears the cries of His people. today is a day to give thanks abundantly.

today my sister's family had an amazing answer to their prayers. todd had a great review at work and was switched to the day shift!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD, he can be home with his family and have normal rotations. it has been an amazing transformation of trust and hope to rejuvenate their family. i am so blessed.

my nephew henry was so excited to call me and let me know that i should PRAISE THE LORD!!! the innocence of his passionate soul to cry out to the lord. i pray that the lord continues to keep his spirit tender and humble. what a man of god he will be... follow the Lord henry all the days of your life.

my day was simply amazing. today was the day of anticpation. i have been so excited to see how this day would turn out. today was the day of nursing (internship) capstone placement (this is the last rotation before we graduate, an independent study without professors or fellow students) and i have wanted to be placed in one particular unit. a placement in this unit could mean so many things, and i just wanted the oppurtunity to experience the life of a Neonatal Intensive Care Nurse.... i am so passionate about the little lives that enter the world struggling to stay in it.... TODAY I WAS PLACED IN THE NICU!!!!!! (an oppurtunity that many others wanted, only one place to be given) PRAISE THE LORD!!! i am so blessed.

a praise report for the week. so thankful. the power of prayer.

The Unofficial List of 2008

2007-12-29T17:05:00.001-08:00

I wanted to make a list of things to do this year. The year of all years. I am so enthusastic about the adventures that this year will hold. So here comes so ideas of things I truly hope to try and accomplish ....

- Watch the Planet Earth's Dvd collection
- Go Skydiving for my graduation ... ive only been waiting for years ;)
- Run a 5k or a 1/2 marathon
- GRADUATE from Nursing School
- Get and start my first grown up job... (Ill be a nurse)
- Read some books ... Any kind - just no text books
- Travel to another state (I havent been to)
- Travel to Mexico City to visit the orphanage
- Sing aloud for all to hear
- Learn to eat with chopsticks
- Take a dance lesson or two
- Meet a new friend
- Take a special adventure with my nephews
- Learn to do a 180 jump with my snowboard (start small - think big)
- Cross the wake with the wakeboard
- Take a day to travel by myself
- Make a piece of pottery - and paint it
- Go hiking!
- Play ultimate frisbee with friends
- TURN 22 - I ve been waiting for this day since I can remember!
- Spend a date with my dad.
- Go to a concert
- See a theatrical production (ballet, play .. etc.)
- Continue to seek the Lord and live with intention...

With all the above thoughts, God be my guide and use me to make a difference. Teach me to live.

Inner Purity

2007-12-08T08:06:00.000-08:00

Matthew 15: 1 - 20.

In the past few days, I have been praying about the condition of my heart. This morning I read this passage of scripture and it stuck with me...

8: "These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me."

Where is your heart? What is the desires or depths of your heart crying out to? Does the Lord find your heart a place of worship, a place where He is honored? Or is your heart focused on the passions of your own ambition? People hear the praises of the Lord on our lips, but the Lord hears our praises from our hearts.

I was talking with a friend about a picture. An image of a little girl reaching up to hold the hands of her father, and in her eyes you could see the reflection of her daddy. If your heart is focused on Jesus, so should your eyes. If people looked at your eyes,would they see your Father's Reflection? And when Jesus is examining your heart right now, would He find a pure heart that exalts Him and His desires for your life.

Take a moment and examine your heart and the focus of your eyes.

One Night. One Choice.

2007-12-02T13:27:00.000-08:00

Tonight I sit here and discuss the ugliness of sin and the pain of the choices that need to made. Fascinating isn’t it that I find myself writing what I have been writing for the past three months. Life is redundant. Repetition that will make a Ferris wheel appear exciting. Over time the mercy of God will become the wrath of God. Why do I play around with this? The thoughts of the fury of God on the Egyptian People and the Hebrews should shake the sin out of the nation. Although, I continue to try the patience of Jesus.

The choice of a one night. The overwhelming guilt and the forgiveness of a Perfect Savior. This morning the voice of a speaker rang out the words " Jesus loves me." He does love me. and how I barely understand the depth of that love. Today I am grateful, and humbled. Words dont express those feelings very well... but I guess I am sorry to all those I let down. Its been an extremely busy semester with mixed up priorities. Its time to allow God to take control... and Start from here... excuses abandoned ... Allow my Weakness to be my Strength through Jesus Christ. Amen.

When you cant sleep... Count your blessings

2007-11-23T18:38:00.000-08:00

Last night, I was tossing and turning ... just couldnt fall asleep. I became really frustrated and decided to roll out from the covers and began to pace the floor. (Yes, I really did.) My heart was heavy with thoughts and I started to cry. It was Thanksgiving, and I had not taken a moment to Thank God for all of the wonderful blessings in my life.

My past year and half has been very crazy as I have become older and have been learning that life as an "adult" is not what I thought it would be... Although, through all the tears and the pain ... There are these blessings that shine!

So here is a list of some of the significant blessings in my life:
- My mother and my father have been on their knees praying for me since before I took my first breath of life. I have been blessed by their commitment to the Lord, and to each other. They love each other more today and continue to set an example of a Godly marriage.
- My brothers have been protecting me and been my best friends. I have traveled and learned so many things from them and we are each others support. Kyle was blessed with a new baby (Cole is a perfectly healthy boy) and a beautiful bride Kayla.
- My sister continues to keep me organized and on track with all the craziness that school brings and make sures that I am eating healthy... She has heard me rant and rave over all of life trials and excitments. I love you dear sister.
- My roommate is an inspiration that lives passionately for the Lord. Her heart and her soul seek Him first and I am so thankful to be able to see her everyday. The Lord has been so faithful in showing us His mercy and granting us peace in our home. I love you Jesse McNally. You have helped me more than you know ... even when i have to wake you at the break of dawn. ;)
- To my friends - Carin (my BFF who is serving in the Military), Alicia, erin, ellie, You girls have been there for me through everything... and even though we may never get to see each other... I love you. Seriously I pray for you often .. Keep seeking the Lord and allowing Him to guide you in every step that you take.
- To my Pastors - PT, Kevin and Annie, Andy and Christy - Words cant describe how much gratitude I have for your dedication and investment in my life... I am blessed for your prayers and spiritual guidance.
- To all my friends, old and new - I am so thankful for the gift of your friendship. Sarah Bla - You have been an anchor to turn to when my life has been chaos. Rochester has become an exciting adventure thanks to you ;) Love ya.

I was so blessed that I had the oppurtunity to spend the last few weeks by my Grandpa's bedside. I held his hand and I talked with him late into the night. I said good bye and I was able to comfort him when he died. I miss him terribly tonight and this weekend and through out the holidays. I just praise the Lord that soon I will be able to dance the streets of Heaven with him. (Right before He passed my mom prayed with him and he gave his heart to the Lord.)

For the oppurtunity to go to school - to work at Mayo - to be living my dreams - for the ultimate gift of Salvation - to live in the United States - to have food, clothes, and a car - to be blessed with finances - Life is a beautiful place with all the blessings I have.

In the end, I was broken - My heart full of joy and I cried .

I climbed back under the covers and let myself fall asleep counting my blessings ...

Miss Fruit of the Spirit (Go with it...)

2007-11-16T09:43:00.000-08:00

" We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.." 2 Corinthians 5:20

Today, while reading my devotions up at the local Dunn Bros, (sipping my aronald palmer and a chai carrot muffin - a must have combination) I was thinking about this scripture verse. I began to imaigine what it would be like if we had to have a beauty pagent for representing Christ.

If anyone has ever viewed the Miss USA pagnent, which I used to watch with my sister every year, 50 of the top beautiful eligible ladies promanade on stage and try sell their best assests to obtain the cherished title of MISS USA.

So my point for this rambling, is what if we were to be put on stage to obtain the even more cherished title of being Christ's ambassador.... having to go in front of millions of people on national television and persusade God to be his ambassador... How would you score?

The blessing for us is that Christ has already made us His beloved, cherished Ambassador - without the competition. How are you handling this most honored responsibility?

I dont know if this made any sense, but I just thought it would be a fun concept to blog about.

Back to life at dunn bros, listening to the conversations, and studying for the next exam.

until the next blog - peace

2007-10-04T09:49:00.000-07:00

Let me be thirsty for your living water...

Cole James (My New Nephew)

2007-09-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

Cole James Kalinowski was born on Sept. 18th. 6 pounds 13 oz. He was 20" . Kyle and Kayla are doing very well, except for lack of sleep ... but are very proud parents. God has truly blessed our family with a little miracle. ( More pictures to come .. but just wanted to give everyone a sneak peak)

Picture Rest

2007-09-19T20:17:00.000-07:00

an amazing image of rest... i desire to just rest in you, Lord. let me breathe you in and allow me to feel the beats of my heart... Break me further and help me to reach and give all. numbness and overwhelmed traded for your passion and life. Lord tonight and this weekend, renew and let me rest in you.

Ps. thank you to those who have been praying and giving me encouragement these past few weeks, and being there when I needed you ... giving of your time and sleep ...

"Living with Zeal"

2007-09-13T08:09:00.000-07:00

For a while now, I have been unable to write. The changes and the lessons that God has been teaching me have been a hard to swallow. With the new leadership taking place at the G8, I have been consumed with the reality of change is necessary. My heart is overwhelmed the past few days, and ultimately I just have come to the spot where I am worn out. (life is in full force) Although, this morning I have just pressed passed the feelings of overwhelming and asked God for the "Renewing of my mind."

"God, Break down the walls of fear
and trade them with for zeal"

In Acts 4:20, Peter and John were being questioned on behalf of their boldness and they were asked to keep quiet and to not proclaim the name of the Lord Jesus. I was challenged by this response that the men gave ...

" For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard."

The beauty of this statement is that these men were at such place in their faith, that their ZEAL for the Lord outweighed the fear or hesiation to speak.

Fill me with Zeal, a desperate overwhelming passion to seek and speak your Truth.

blurred vision

2007-09-04T15:53:00.000-07:00

i need clarity, Lord. open the eyes of my heart.

A morning devotion

2007-08-26T07:38:00.000-07:00

The beauty of the morning captured my attention, so i decided to get up and enjoy His presence and the freshness of the last breaths of summer through the windows as it the wind blows gently through the apartment. Anyways.... Here is what is on my heart and what I am praying about as the Lord showed me some things in Scripture.

Proverbs 24: 1- 2

"Do not envy wicked men, do not desire their company; for their hearts plot violence, and their lips talk about making trouble."

In this passage, I think often of the times that I desire the friendship of those that surround me, for instance at work or at school, when it seems as though I am the one left without having the fun and am not invited to gatherings in which activities are being done that I wouldn't even participate in .. . I still long for their friendship and their approval. (Most days) As I approach the coming school year ... I pray that this scripture would help remind me that satisfaction and my pursuit of setting my sight on Jesus and following His plan for my life are not found in the friendships and lifestyles of my fellow classmates and co workers. (How easy it is to simply forget this and just laugh at their jokes which stem from evil hearts... the very thing that we should set ourselves apart from and rebuke or just simply not agree with...)

Living as God has Called me...

1 Corinthians 7: 17-24

The important thing is obeying God's commands. You were bought at a GREAT price and so do not become slaves of people. We are now called slaves of Christ.

In my understanding of slavery, you are the master's. You have no heart or desires of your own and you follow and obey all the requests and the commands made to you by your master. Unfortunately how often do I find myself trying to please the master's of my own flesh or the flesh of the hearts of my friends. I want to live fully for Christ, but no one can serve two Master's ... it says so in His word. (Ive tried and it doesnt get me anywhere I want to be)

With all this being said... I think of where my heart is at right now. In this moment I am guilty of pleasing the hearts of my own flesh and the heart of the my loved ones. I want to be holy and pleasing unto God. I desire to be in His Perfect will. In that I also desire that my friends' would find themselves living out their lives according to His will. Seeking Him first in all that we do, and being bold enough to live out that will... even when it comes with a cost. Living out the will of God is the desire of His heart, talking out the will of God with no actions and passion is complete foolishness.

Here I am Lord, correct and rebuke me. I want to be in your Will.

a quiet prayer

2007-08-18T18:20:00.000-07:00

sitting here tonight in anticipation with what is about to take place in my life. hungry with a passion and a desire to make the new steps in my life. my heart is desperate for a new pace and a new pouring out of his spirit. i want to be where you are, i want to see what you see, i want to be broken and humbled by your presence. i want to be renewed daily by your grace and peace. this is me crying out for more. my cry be your cry and let me hear your voice. let your heart echo into my ears and resound louder in my actions. i want to live with passion and greater preserverance. you are my dreams and my strength. on you i want to solely rely. god take me into your presence and change me. i am yours. i no longer want to be following the blindness of my eyes but lead into your light to see clearly the brokeness of the world. i will go to where you call to where you send, just lead me. with the battles raging and the war taking place, let me rise up a warrior ready to give all i have. teach me to speak your truth. let it flow from my tongue as your heart is revealed in me. i want to understand the bread of life, place in me wisdom. inpart in me knowledge only to see your hand. humble me. and break me. i am yours oh lord. make me yours.

Life is beauty through pain...

2007-08-15T19:49:00.000-07:00

In the pain that comes from life fragility - if you look hard enough and long enough - you begin to see the beauty that The Lord tries to show us. A lesson can be learned from every trial and experience that we go through in life's journey. This past week with the weakening health of my grandpa, life becomes increasingly more fragile and the pain consumes your passion to fight. An important aspect was brought to my mind by my youth pastor, in which a lesson can be learned. I realized that I had been looking right at it: compassion. I need to learn a more intimate level of compassion for every detail of my life. I have been given a unique oppurtunity to experience things... individual to me. Embrace them. School is just around the corner, and I pray that I will apply the same level of compassion into reading the text book in order to one day be able to help care for patients with all that I have. Lord supply me with the passion to keep fighting for those I love and when I am overwhelmed with life's battles I pray you give me strength and perservenance.

Vulnerable

2007-08-04T16:58:00.000-07:00

I have so much on my heart ... that I cant bear to think. I am shutting down. I am vulnerable. Someone take my heart and hold it for a while... i need to rest.

Misguided

2007-08-04T16:39:00.000-07:00

Discontent.Unsatisfaction. Self Pity.

Disgusting words that describe my overwhelmed heart.

I want. (is all that I cant have)

I need. (is all that I can have)

Why is that I continue to go after the want? When what I need is right here waiting for me ... right at my finger tips?

God ... redirect my heart and lead me to the cross

redefined

2007-07-23T17:48:00.000-07:00

"To be my discliple - you need to abandon your heart, dreams, and soul ..."

to live for Christ goes beyond the element of Salvation.